You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
