Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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