amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
