you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
