It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
