You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Randomize
