Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
