I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
