What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
