That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It was confusing and full of hummus
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
