oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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