I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
