So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I can't turn off my feet"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
