well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
