Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Are we still banned from the library?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
