Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
