i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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