i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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