i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
