I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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