whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
