It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
the day after is always just damage control
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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