susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
