It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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