I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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