I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
