His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
