just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
