my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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