This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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