After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
