I'm jealous of your bromance
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
