omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Found the puke drawer
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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