At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
