5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
