Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
