Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
