I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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