I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
