ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I came so hard my ears popped.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
