i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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