we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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