you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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