so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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