So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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