so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
