can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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