I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she pinky promised me she was 18
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
