4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
