Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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