3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
